Saturday, March 03, 2012

Thursday, February 09, 2012

Sasquatch dick

Is the funniest thing ever. Haaaaaa!

Wednesday, February 08, 2012

Coolest Blog Award

This blog might be the coolest one ever created... just saying.

Happy 2012 ya turkeys!

Monday, February 19, 2007

1:04 AM me: drizzle drazzle
11:05 AM Mike: I think you've mistaken me for someone who gives a damn...this is mackenzie, the motorcity cobra, and i don't have time for your petty meanderings
11:07 AM me: yeah well you've mistaken me for someone who rawks the casbah with her glittery earrings and fancy gold pants, which is basically true
11:08 AM Mike: what the crap
11:09 AM oh ya, i'm only 12 so i don't know how to operate this machinery so good
me: i think that's underevaluating Mackenzie's abilities
11:10 AM Mike: i'm mackenzie you ape
me: you're the one who cant work a computer1 who's the ape!?
11:11 AM Mike: that's what we say on the streets, get it together gramma
11:12 AM me: on the streets in my part of the world we just shiv each other. :(
11:13 AM Mike: we just sell used tires for drug money in 7th grade
me: we sell our kidneys
11:14 AM Mike: we spray graffiti on homeless people
11:15 AM me: we floss our teeth with our rat tails
11:16 AM Mike: back in my day a chicken sandwich cost 70 cents
like '00
me: back in my day we had only chicken eggs
11:17 AM Mike: you're totally old
11:19 AM me: i'm like Air Supply or the B52s
Mike: i've never even heard of those items you are saying
11:20 AM i was born in 1994
me: in '94, i was working the mines in Appalachia
11:22 AM Mike: bear foot and pregnant with your 11th child, a red-headed boy you named Ichabod after your great-uncle.
11:23 AM me: he would die young of the scarlet fever.
difficult times, those we
11:24 AM Mike: my sister told me about how in those days they gave harlots scarlet A's cuz they were total skanks
do you have any of those old timey records on your gramaphone
11:25 AM mandolin music and whatnot
electric jug band
me: we used a Dulcimer. and we wore porkpie hats
11:27 AM Mike: i bet your grandma makes bread from scratch
11:28 AM me: she grinds the flour with her gold teeth
11:29 AM Mike: ya she drinks buttermilk like pepsi
you old people slay me with your wrinkled visages
11:30 AM me: you whipper snappers dont know what it is to love
11:32 AM Mike: i've loved too much oldie......justin timberlake, josh harnett, ashton kutcher....oh i've loved enough for a lifetime
me: Justin Timberlake...that conman is the devil's own poison
11:33 AM Mike: preposterous
me: verily
11:34 AM Mike: what would you know about the human heart? the youth, we love ferociously, like a blazing sun is our love
11:35 AM me: dont sassmouth me, my young friend, i'll wash your mouth out with codliver oil
11:36 AM Mike: i'll pepper spray you then tell the cops you were trying to kidnap me
me: in my day, the shotgun was the law
11:37 AM an backend full of buckshot made all the children respect their elders
11:38 AM Mike: the only things i respect are zoog disney and the mean streets
11:39 AM me: i dont know what these days are coming to
11:42 AM Mike: this is how its been since the beginning of time... the youth are the bright shining future, the old the dark past
11:43 AM me: to hell in a gilded handbasket. some day you'll realize.
11:44 AM Mike: i'll never be old like you
11:45 AM me: you'll wither, as all blossoms do. the fruit of life rots with winter, young grasshopper
11:48 AM you found a job yet?
11:52 AM me: your momma can't afford school for you anymore.
Mike: how'd you know it was me and not mackenzie?????
Mike: you must be a witch
me: look at that one!
i used my magic internet powers
11:53 AM Mike: you're good, you're real good
me: that job is in redlands!